Thursday's Thankful Thirteen: My Mom

My mom battled Lymphoma cancer and Thursday marks 15 years since she went to be with the Lord. Through those years I have sifted, processed, neatly organized and completely scattered my thoughts and feelings about our relationship. It is so easy to look back at one's childhood and remember the bad more than the good. It is harder to have so many things left unsaid. Now that I am a mom myself, I know the day is coming when my boys will think back at what I was like and draw their own conclusions. I hope they are gracious and forgiving!

My relationship with my mother was not the best in the world, but she was still my mom. I miss her laughter and wit. I miss her. So no matter what hitches I have had about my past, God has used it to remind me of His grace and His forgiveness.

Therefore my thankful list today is 13 things I am thankful for her. The way she was, what she left me and to show her honor today in the best way I can.

1. Friendships. My mom knew how to be a good friend. She had many friends and she was always on the phone with one or another! They were kindred buddies and I know they would fly to the moon with her if she asked. It set a wonderful example of the kind of friends I want to have and to be!

2. Baking. We truly have a heritage of comfy food eaters on my family tree. She was a good cook, but an incredible sweet maker. My scrumptious homemade caramel recipe was handed down by my mom. Needless to say, holidays always called for stretchy waist bands!

3. Singing. Okay, I'll admit it...I was embarrassed of my mom when I was a teen. She would belt out that voice of her's in church and not care who in the world heard her. She joked often that when she got to heaven she would have a voice like Sandi Patti. That I have no doubt has come completely true today.

4. Giving. My mom was a huge giver. She gave of her time, money and love. Gifts from her were always well thought out and special.

5. She loved God. My mom came to know the Lord later in life. But when she did, she entered her relationship with gusto and deep, deep committment. I have her Bible and it is amazing to go back through it and read her notes. Her feelings for God showed all the way down to her I♥ Jesus bumper sticker!

6. Loyalty to family. Although we grew up thousands of miles away from her side of the family, she nurtured our relationship with them and always stayed true to her roots. My mom had a sweet relationship with her sister that I still smile at today!

7. Commitment. I watched my mom go through many trials in different areas of her life. She stuck to her guns and stayed in her convictions...no matter what the cost.

8. Faith. Til the end my mother had unwavering faith in God. She believed He could heal her if He wanted and still yielded to His will no matter what.

9. Contentment. My mom struggled with her weight for years and years. She finally came to a point where she accepted her body as it was and enjoyed life to the fullest. I admired her ability to see things as they were and go on with life!

10. Sacrifice. I don't remember my mom ever buying herself anything! And I can still see her in those polyester pants she wore for years. She chose to return to work when my brother & I were teenagers so that we could attend Christian Schools. She worked with what she had and helped my dad make ends meet. She taught me to appreciate what I had and not expect things to come easily.

11. Endurance. My mom truly "fought the good fight" to the end and not just against cancer.

12. Loving. My mom had her own way of showing love and I know she loved us kids very much!

13. Laughter. It always filled our home over the years. Mixed in between hard times even. The evening after my mom passed away we sat around with family and friends to discuss her service. I still remember laughing so hard that the happy tears outweighed the sad ones when we recalled stories about her.

There are many things I hope to pass on to my boys from what I've learned from my mother. I know no matter how old I am or how many years have passed, I will always miss her and hear her laughter in my memories. That brings a very big smile to my face!