Before I go into my rant...please understand that I don't judge anyone who celebrates October 31st. I did as a kid. I have fun memories of dressing up in costumes and totally pigging out on the junk food! I have a vivid memory in my mind of a photo taken one year of my sister and I dressed as angels and my brother was a devil. We had the wings, he had the red suit and pitch fork. It was pretty funny and cute. I grew up watching "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown", carving pumpkins and decorating for the season.
Last night as I tucked my kids in bed and spent some time laying with them I heard some stuff that makes me sad, frustrated and tired. We've opted out on celebrating Halloween. We have our own reasons...it's just a personal issue for us and that's that! And with all the feelings that October brings w/ losing my mom, hard rough seasons in my past, etc. This month can already be a battle for me. It's just all the sense of darkness that this season brings that just wears me out.
My kids go to a public school. It's a given we aren't gonna agree or like all that goes on. But we are grateful for our voices to be heard and the incredible positive learning that is happening in our kids' lives.
But poor Ani. He had a bad nightmare the night before so he was already nervous to go to sleep. He is always my peaceful beddy boy. No problems settling in and I can't count on one hand the times he's ever had a nightmare. So when he started talking about a cartoon movie shown in his class that had witches and black cats, etc. and how it made him a little uneasy...well mama gets her nostrils flared. I know I am an idiot if I think I can possibly shield my children from anything I might not like. This is life.
I'm sure this topic can be up there with politics and religion if we let it. And I always love to disagree and still be friends. It's part of life. And if you agree on every little thing...well that's boring. So please don't take this offense. And if you post pictures with your kids in costumes and celebrations...I'll enjoy every minute of it!
This time of year CAN be so much fun and light hearted! There are some stinkin' cute costumes out there and the candy...well hey...how FABULOUS is getting chocolate?!
Ani was due the first part of November. So when I went into early labor on the 29th I was pretty bummed. I remember being close to delivery and realizing that Ani wasn't gonna make it on the 30th anymore....he was pushing to the 31st of October. I was bummed. I didn't care for Halloween and now my poor kid had it as a birthday.
My little pumpkin has been a delightful surprise to have this unique birthday. Not only do we get to distract our attention to HIM, but we have an incredible reason to celebrate on a day that I don't particularly like. So there is a big blessing in this whole ordeal for me.
I just wish my kids didn't have to feel uncomfortable or frightened time of year.
13 comments:
TOTALLY with you, sistah!
I don't care one whit if others celebrate Halloween, and I do think it's cool for my kids to have something that they get to celebrate (we have mondo harvest fest celebrations here) but I always feel just a little sad for them when the teachers tell them to write an essay about what they're going to be for halloween.
Fortunately, I've had the blessing of really understanding teachers, and my kids actually are now standing up for themselves when they don't feel comfortable with something. (ie: I don't feel comfortable writing my own witches' spell... can I write a prayer instead?) and so I think that it's actually pretty cool that they have a chance to grow and stand apart, you know?
ps: I'm all about the cute and the candy, too ;)
I hear you. My family never "celebrated" Halloween because of religious beliefs and now having a kid it is strange to see how much darkness is taken for granted. I am so sensitive to it and I want to protect my little girl from the witches and devils. We have made a decision to encourage the fun parts (uplifting costumes, candy, parties at church) and pray over the negatives. Besides, with a kid who always wants to dress like a princess this time of year means she doesn't get as many funny looks. :-) (Here's what I find disturbing about Disney Princesses: none of them have mothers and the women in the movies are all bad witches that hate the princesses. Ugh)
Thanks for a great post!
Linda, good for you for standing up for what you believe in! I think it's great you guys have an alternative to Halloween (the little man's birthday!).
We are letting Princess dress up but we're staying on campus (Christian school) because I'm pretty sure there won't be scary costumes here. My mom wanted to take her up to the mall but I said no way. You never know what kinds of costumes people will be wearing and yeah, she might be too young to really be "scared" but I'm not going to take that chance. My first responsibility is to protect her.
I'm sorry your son is having nightmares. I sure hope they are not related to the video he saw. Continue to pray with him and for him. We know who is our ultimate hedge of protection! :)
Good job, Mom! This was a very encouraging post.
Ah yes Halloween. I am on the side of pro I guess. We decorate around here, in a very non-scary way. I won't let the kiddos be scary things...Although Butter was a "cute" witch and Roo was a baby bat. Anyway. We have a very SCARY neighbor, who has a haunted yard walk. Last year it got so bad with all teh screaming. This year we are taking the kids to Nana & Papa's for some treating. Our church used to do the Halloween Hoedown. Where kids dressed in nonspooky costumes and played tons of games and moonwalks and candy. SO much fun. They decided they didn't want to do it anymore. (It totally ticked me off! It was a great way to introduce friends to church without getting all churchy...you know.
I totally here where you are coming from and think it's great to have Ani b-day be the BIG celebration.
Do you have a post about your mom? I'd love to hear about it...unless you don't want to or don't share that. I only started reading you this last month so I do know the boundries...
You are still my friend! And I heart you!
Just nodding my head. Um hmm. I'm with you.
It's a constantly changing, evolving season for us - changes as our children get older and understand our desire to not glorify darkness no matter what form it takes or how much chocolate it's covered in. Yet, wanting to be relevant in the lives of our friends no matter what time of year it is.
It's always a toughie. TFS!
I'd love to know what the school has to say about showing movies with witches in it in October and refusing to celebrate actual CHRISTmas in December. Mmm-hmmm.
We let our kids dress up in non-evil costume (no witches, devils, demons, ghosts, vampires, etc.) and go to the Harvest Party at our church. It's all about Autumn, not a day to celebrated death and the "dark side."
It's important to let your light shine, even when it's not popular. Give yourself a high five for me.
Blessings, Whitney
Our family didn't do trick or treating when I was growing up and it was no big deal. We lived in the country and no one ever even came to our door. When our kids were young they did go out - only to family and a few close neighbors. Bob and I felt more and more uneasy about it every year and they quit after junior high. Like you I really have no problem with others doing it and you are right about the cute costumes. I just don't like the witches, ghosts, devils and all that stuff. I decorate for Thanksgiving, not Halloween.
oh, your poor little guy! I hate that he is having nightmares. They are no fun at all! Do the schools not have to let the parents know when and what movies will be shown? I know at one time around here they had to, but not so sure about now. Years ago, many years ago, when I was in school I think my mom had to sign for anything we watched at school or we would be sent to another classroom during that time.
We do allow the girls to dress up for halloween and I just want to let you know that NO offense was taken whatsoever! I have seen so many friendships end over halloween because of hurt feelings! And I've seen many of "shouting matches" on blogs and egroups between friends. I guess that's why I want you to know, so there is no doubt!
Poor little peanut. Isn't it frustrating when those kinds of things at school happen?
We decorate for Fall around here and have struggled with what to do about Halloween for so many years. My husband and I weren't saved until ten years ago, so our oldest two had already been witches and partied like it was 1999 (as far as Halloween goes). We have opted for the non-scary outfits (little bo peep, knights and the mad hatter, that sorta thing.) But I still struggle. Our home has become the hang out for families and kids to come for pizza and then take a quick spin around the block. Yet I still struggle.
I wish I could say that I only struggle at Halloween. I struggle with reading books like Twilight.
Goodness, enough with my burdens already, huh?!?
I guess it is just hard when you want to give glory to God in ALL things and feel like you might be falling a little short.
Joanne
p.s. Linda, you said that your mom passed away in October, when in October? My mom passed away in April but October 27th is her birthday.
I am so glad to read your take on this. Growing up, we didn't celebrate it, and so I was never a fan of Halloween. We are going to take Savannah to the alternative Fall Festival that they hold at our church instead, and let her dress up as a princess, but I have to agree with your feelings on the matter.
I'm so glad we don't have to celebrate here. Last year in America Micah got to celebrate by going to two homes, but no one was home. And they didn't do anything at his school so I was happy about that.
Yep.
I tell other kids that we don't "Do halloween" because I have "issues". My desire would be to redeem the day into something BETTER...and one day I'll find the exact way to do that. :-) Until then, I have issues. :-)
William is the same way. The other day we walked by a store on the way to Subway and there was a scary Halloween man that went off when it sensed motion. It started saying scary stuff and took it's face off!!! Seriously...thanks for scaring the pants off my four year old, people. What is the point of that??
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