Ministry...now here's the rest of the story...FINALLY!

A church in a city not far from where we both grew up was looking for a Children's Pastor. We said no thank you. Then we both felt like we had failed in listening and seeking the Lord to always do what He wants to do in us and thru us. So we prayed. And doggone it, He told us we were suppose to go back "home". We knew it wasn't going to be easy. We love our families, but we also loved being out on our own.

In October of '05 we came back for a time to candidate and seek if this was where we were suppose to go. I laugh every time I think back to that infamous football game between the U of O and OU. There I sat next to my sis. Oklahoma vs. Oregon. I hastily said..."whoever wins this game is the sign to where we are suppose to live". I realize not all girls watch football. I am not a number one fan of the game, but seeing it live and that incredible game...I could not help but show my support. Which team you ask? Well, I wore yellow and green only because our seats were in the Oregon section. I used to live here, I didn't want to lose my life! I chanted that Boomer Sooner in my heart though.

Despite the fact that Oregon won, in our hearts we knew we were to follow the Lord in moving back to become involved in ministry here. The road since then has been a very rough one. We love our church. It has been a harder struggle than we thought though to move home and re-adjust. I sound like a missionary I know, but the culture is drastically different and our hearts were still back in OKC. Moving back in November didn't help either. Do you have any idea how much it rains in the Pacific Northwest? Rain, circumstances, messed up hormones, all lined up to another pit. A deep, dark and dreary time in my life and once again began a battle with depression.

I bought a sunlamp and saw a dr. He was such a kind and gentle man. I poured my heart out. I told him everything. Every deep dark secret and walked away embarrassed, but helped. (On another visit I had come to find out that he was a member of our new church. Could not believe that one.) Here I had sat in his patient room and gave him all the dirt. He was so loving to me. He said, "if you knew how many pastor's and people in the ministry came to see me with problems/issues...you'd be amazed. And just because you are in ministry doesn't mean you can't struggle and have problems." I've gained 25lbs, lost it and gained it back again in this season I haven't enjoyed. Another lovely aspect of this battle. I have since discovered much more about my health, my struggles with it and ways to move on and gain victories in it. I figure we are all a little screwie sometimes, it's this life that is not our home. I look forward to true healing and life when I meet my Jesus face to face! And I am thankful for the knowledge and tools I have in order to be the best I can in this life. Looking back at my mom it was like a light bulb...no a STROBE light in my mind that she too dealt with this thorn. It makes me sad for her that she didn't have the tools like I do or the victory with God's help.

It has been almost 2 years since we moved "home". I like to look at it as we made it to the top of that mountain. God has brought me thru such an incredible journey that I never regret. He is always faithful and trustworthy. I cling to that! And despite the view we can't always see for ourselves, I know that He has his love for me in mind. And the best part is...his love is constant, no matter what I do, think or say. Oh to be more and more like HIM!

Buying our house and moving into this cul de sac has been a blessing in my life that I will never, ever forget or take advantage of. With the boys in school full-time now I am able to get back along side my hubster. I am definitely not the same girl who began ministry with this man. Thank the Lord! And I have no idea what the future holds for us. I do know that serving in the church will always be something I feel humbled about and know is a role that is a gift from the Lord. I'm not the one out leading Bible Studies. In fact, during the greeting time I head for the bathroom and hide until it's over. I'm an introvert and a loner. But I'm growing and learning and gaining more confidence while I'm serving. I could not imagine being in another "job". I have watched my hubster blossom and struggle and rocket and fall. He is one amazing man. We both look back at these last 2 years and almost wipe our brow. It has been hard. But if anything, moving back has really shown the light on who we are and what God wants to do in us and thru us.

So, Lynn, there ya have it. My life-so-far story, a small example of our ministry and a lot of dirt I never thought I'd post on the web for all to see. So I guess back to my post on here about being real? This is me! And I am where I am only because of God's grace and hand in my life.

Thank you Lord, I love you.

Side note: We started in the Children's Ministry together and have been there ever since. Although things have changed some that we aren't as "involved" first hand with the kids; teaching, playing, holding babies, etc. It has been a natural and wonderful progression to see my hubster grow and transition into more of a leadership/administrative role. Which is truly his gifting. It is still and always will be an honor to be a part of the spiritual nurturing for children in their realization as to who God is!